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 A child’s understanding of death changes with age. A 4-year-old does not have the same view of death as a 9-year-old. Research confirms that between the ages of nine to 12 years children arrive at an adult understanding of death. Prior to this time, children do not view death in the same manner as adults. When discussing the subject of death with children it is important to be aware of their ability to understand certain things about death. The following outline can serve as a guide when addressing this sensitive issue with children.
Infant/toddler (Birth to 3 years)
No understanding of death.
Can be expected to respond to stress and change in the family.
Pre-school child (3 to 5 years)
Death is simply a separation.
Death is reversible – not permanent.
Death means continued life only under different circumstances.
Death may be viewed as punishment.
School-age child (5 to 9 years)
Death may be seen as a person, place or thing.
Death has a personality.
Death is final.
Death is not universal – it can be avoided.
Pre-teen child (9 to 11 years)
Death is real and final.
Death is seen as natural.
Death is inevitable (it can happen to anyone) and irreversible.
Death separates the living from the non-living.
Adolescent (12 to 18 years)
Death is the end of life.
Death is associated with feelings and emotions.
Death is a natural part of life.
Death is seen from an "adult" viewpoint.
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